Having one of those horrendous claw at your skin constantly anxiety no concentration ah ah aaaahh days.
This is really not conducive to me getting work done :(
Having one of those horrendous claw at your skin constantly anxiety no concentration ah ah aaaahh days.
This is really not conducive to me getting work done :(
Tipping on the edge of wondering when the next breakdown is going to be.
good things that happened today:
- I’M NOT PREGNANT
- any other good thing was overshadowed by that being the best thing
posted ‘nothing more worrying about the pre-period when it’s late in case you’re pregnant’ and NOW I’M REALLY THINKING ABOUT IT AND SHITTING MYSELF OMG AAAH.
plan for today:
- go home
- try not to fall asleep
- somehow get round to writing a million speeches
Things that are strange:
Forever feeling like you should be with someone who lives thousands of miles away, and then finding out he’s fallen in love with someone else.
Feels odd.
this week:
- three conferences (!)
- that said, I’m very excited for all three of them :D
- here’s hoping I don’t have any mid week breakdowns
spending everyday in the library until these essays are out of my life.
one bonus: the good feeling I get when I actually get the work done, and how I seem to be rediscovering old music.
One essay finally done. I always feel so much better after getting a piece of uni work done. Maybe it just feels like I don’t do work very often but yeah, I don’t know. It’s thankfully done. Two more to do this week, then one the next. Busy busy busy.
things I am currently sick of:
People telling me what to think, what to say, what not to think, what not to say. I have opinions. You don’t agree. Fuck off and accept that.
How physically ill I am right now. I usually have a good immune system but it’s been terrible the past few weeks and I am literally dosing myself up every single day.
How much work I have to do, and how much the above is getting in the way of it. In addition to this, next year I’ll need to choose a priority. Work, or university. This year is has overwhelmingly been work and I think my marks will suffer badly because of it. But which is more important?
Mostly those things. I also have a few people who are fucking excellent and who I wouldn’t have been able to get through the last few days, and weeks, without. They probably won’t read this but they are my absolute heroes.
spending days in the library, today has thankfully been better and more productive than yesterday. writing an essay about judicial activism and democratic accountability and LGBT rights. there could be worse (and there could be better) ways to spend your friday night.
I wish that when my dad asks me if I’ve been burning my arms again he wouldn’t give me that look that he gives when I say yes.
Spending a few days with my family and being too exhausted to go out, going to bed earlier than everyone else & sleeping a lot more than everyone else = perhaps I am still a little depressed.
I’m really annoyed that being “awkward” is trendy now. Standing behind a cute guy in line at Starbucks when you aren’t even wearing lipgloss? Is not awkward. Crippling social anxiety is fucking awkward. I hate you.
(via inemptyhallways)
— Leila Khaled (via 600tongues)
(via fuckyeahfeminists)
